To go or not to go?

I was planning on going out tonight with a few friends and celebrating my birthday. (My birthday was on the 16th, same day as my grandma's visitation, so needless to say it was a sucky day.) The problem is sometimes I don't even really know how or want to have fun without my husband. I have missed him terribly since the minute I left him last.

When I go out and drink, he is all I think about and it just makes me sad. It always seems as if everyone around me has someone, except me. I don't go out often but when I do I always feel bad about it. Matt doesn't care if I go out, as long as I behave and I do.

I'm going to take a nap. Ahhh.... naps :) my favorite part of the weekend. Then I have to go to the shit job and then I guess I'll decide what I am going to do.


Crazy Shenanigans said...

Your birthday was the day before mine! I'm sorry your so sad. I know how it feels to have them leave and you be waiting. It sucks. Either way, I hope you have a great night

Bridget said...

I don't know exactly how you feel but I know it can be hard to go out with out your hubby. However your birthday is something to celebrate so you should at least go out for a bit with your friends, I think you'll be glad you did, but you have to do what feels right for you.

J.J. said...

hugs to you...I am also new to your blog. :) Fellow mil wife...and also hubby had missed my last 4 birthdays. stinker.

I remember crying at the Christmas songs on the radio when hubby was deployed...and thinking the same thing...like everyone elses hubby is around home at Christmas time...but mine. I totally lost if at the Christmas Eve service....ugly face crying. I cried a lot until I got the hang of living in denial.

more hugs for you :)