Guest Blog

Today, I'm a guest blogger for PoeKitten over at Many Waters.  She should have had her baby by now.  

Hoping her and her little family are doing great!

Guest Blogger No. 2

Today I have a guest blog from none other than Jessica at {Mis}Adventures of a Lifetime.  We have folowed each other's blogs for almost ever.  She's truly great person, funny, smart, witty, and I smile every time I read her blogs.

So here it is.....

Surviving a Loss

Loss.  It comes in all shapes, forms, and sizes.  Some forms of loss are easily identifiable - divorce and death, for example.  Other forms of loss aren't as easy to identify.  Illness, disability, moving, and retirement can all be forms of a major loss in someone's life. 

Family and friends often feel helpless when someone close to them experiences a loss because rarely does one have control over the loss.  When a loss occurs, society's attitude is to not talk about it, in fear that it's too upsetting. However, not talking about it only makes it harder to move on.  Grief is a natural process which has no exact time frame and is experienced in unique ways by different individuals. Supporting a grieving person does not mean you can take away the pain.  If supporting a grieving person doesn't mean taking away the pain, what does it mean?

How Can Family and Friends Show Support?*

• Listen, Listen, Listen! A person who has experienced a loss may need to tell his/her story repeatedly. Show you care by your attentiveness, gestures, and eye contact.
• Know when to be silent... sometimes it is best to say nothing at all. A grieving person may just want someone to listen.
• Be aware that grief has physical reactions as well as emotional reactions on the body. Physical reactions include: poor appetite, disturbed sleep patterns, restlessness, low energy, and other pains. Emotional reactions may include: panic, persistent fears, nervousness and nightmares. Encourage your friend or family member to call you or reach out when they experience these feelings.
• Encourage the grieving person to express pain and stress. By working through feelings such as anger, guilt, sadness, doubt and frustration, the normal process of grief and healing occurs. Continue to encourage communication.
• Understand that grief is an individual process that is bound by no exact time frame. This frame of time involves finding ways of living with memories and the pain associated with the loss.
• Reassure the grieving person that their feelings and reactions are normal and necessary for healing.
• Remember that specific dates or events such as the anniversary of the loss or the expected due date, may trigger an emotional response. Encourage communication during this time. Perhaps a card or small remembrance.

What are some suggestions for visiting someone at the hospital or at home who has experienced a miscarriage?

Just by acknowledging the family's experience and expressing your own feelings of sadness are acceptable. Sometimes when people say "I just don't know what to say," is the most helpful thing anyone can say. Other helpful suggestions include:

• Talk about the baby by his or her name.
• Talk about the hopes and dreams you had for the family and the baby. The parents want to know others share in their hopes and dreams, too.
• Read literature about miscarriage and bereavement.
• Make or buy something in memory of the baby to keep yourself or to give to the parents.
• Offer help with housework, cooking, child care, etc.
• Be sensitive to unpredictable emotional reactions by the grieving parent.
• Understand that sometimes a grieving person may want to be alone.
• Offer to keep baby memorabilia until the family is ready.
• Offer to return maternity clothing or other baby items.

What are some things I shouldn't say or do?

Following a loss, family and friends sometimes say or do hurtful things without meaning to. The following are some potential hurtful words and actions that you might want to avoid when supporting a grieving person:

• Not acknowledging the loss can be hurtful because for many parents it is important to have their experience recognized.
• Asking about how one partner is doing and not the other can be hurtful. "How are you, and how is your partner?" shows you care about both of them and you acknowledge they are grieving in their own way.
• There are no competitions in grief, each person's loss must be respected for the sense of loss and sadness it has for them. Therefore, certain sayings can be hurtful such as: "It was only a miscarriage, you'll get over it," "You're young, you can get married again," etc.
• Don't try to rush the grief process. This only causes more pain and feelings of confusion, loneliness and inadequacy.

Support is NOT:

• About giving advice.
• Criticizing what you have heard.
• Minimizing the event
• Using cliches e.g. "It was God's will"
• Talking about your own story of loss. Some identification may be helpful, but keep it to a minimum.
• Not allowing the person to express emotions such as guilt, shame, and anger.
• Taking over completely may cause potential feelings of helplessness and powerlessness.
• Fixing it (you can not take the grief away).

What are some other ways you have supported a friend or family member in a time of loss?

*Information taken from http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyloss/mcsupportingothers.html

Kiss and tell...

Hi everyone!  I'm on vacation this week.  Matt's working Monday and Tuesday.  So by vacation I mean, I'm mostly likely laying on the couch catching up on my DVR, maybe watching the Price is Right, and trying to clear my head.  Hope you all have a fantastic week!!!

Today, I have an awesome guest blog from The Impulsive Addict @ Confessions from an Impulsive Addict.  She's seriously one of the funniest bloggers that I follow.  If you don't follow her, you're missing out.  

So without further adieu....

Have you ever broken up with a guy because he was a HORRIBLE kisser?

I have and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Kissing is my thing. I love it. I look forward to it. It sometimes leads to more things (HOLLA) but when you are dating someone that can't kiss, it ruins E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Are you with me ladies?

When I first met "Beefcake", I was enamored with him from the get-go.

He was super hot.

He was incredibly sexy.

He was hysterically funny.

He was surprisingly charming.

He was a cowboy (which was a first for me!)

And when he finally asked me out, I had dreams about us sucking face.

In my head, it looked similar to this picture:

So after dinner, we headed back to his place for a movie and wine. I had butterflies in my tummy. I knew after waiting patiently for this date to finally arrive, I was gonna make out with Beefcake TONIGHT on HIS COUCH!

And then, the moment that I had dreamed about happened!

And I almost threw up.

My whole entire face was wet.

I couldn't breath. He was literally suffocating me with his saliva.

Did he just come at me with an open mouth? Oh shiz. He did.

I stood up quickly and excused myself to the bathroom so I could dry off with a towel and think about my exit strategy. I couldn't believe that Beefcake was a face-licker. I was crushed (and still a bit wet behind the ears).

After returning from the bathroom, I made up the worst lie ever about why I needed to leave (forgive me sweet baby Jesus) and he looked confused but agreed to walk me out. I was dreading this because I knew what was going to happen as soon as I got to my car.

And just as I had predicted, as soon as he opened my door, he came at me with an open mouth similar to this picture

and what did I do?

I slammed the door.

Right in his face.

And I'm pretty sure I peeled out of his driveway.

He tried calling several times but I am no good at handling confrontation, so I chose to ignore the situation and just hope and pray that we NEVER run into each other again.

And we never did.

Yet.

Please tell me you've had a similar experience?

And there is no need to judge me, people.

Getting a little easier...

First and foremost, thank you all for you well wishes, prayers, thoughts, and good vibes.  I appreciate each and everyone of you.

Things seem to be a little easier everyday.  Some days, I back peddle and it will be worse than the day before.  Ultimately, I think I'm getting better.

The doctor gave me a handful of Xanax.  That helps.  As far as the doctor goes, he thinks I'm fine and that nothing else will have to be done.

I ask myself "Why?" a lot. 

Why couldn't I have this baby but I am expected to financially support others who don't need or deserve a kid? 

Why did I have to see a 16ish year old pregnant girl in the doctor's office the other day? 

Why does my body suck a fat one? 

Why does the world keep moving for everyone else, while it seems to be standing still for me?

We went camping over the weekend.  I thought it would make everything better but it didn't.  It helped though.

I actually made dinner Monday night and last night.  I hadn't done that in awhile.  Matt's been cooking.  I even did some laundry.

In the midst of everything that happened last week, I had to finish my summer class.  I pretty much said F it.  I didn't study for the final and half-assed the last homework assignment. I still got an A in the class.

I also had designed, proofed, and order some t-shirts for the VFW to sell and try to make a little money.  I had to deal with that last week.

I'm sure there were other things I "had" to do last week.  But I don't remember. 

I promise my next post will be a happier one.

Matt and I are taking some time off next week.  Not sure what we'll do or if we'll do much but at least I'll be at home.  With the pups.

Would anyone like to do a guest blog for me next week?  A happy one.  Or a funny one.  Please.

Guest Post: Dear Someone

Hello everyone. I'm probably sleeping in right now. So, Amanda (shortmama) from Family of Shorts is filling in for me today. She's super awesome and does "Dear Someone" letters every Thursday on her blog. From time to time, I join in on those. Stop by her blog and let her know how awesome she is.

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Hiya everyone! This is shortmama from Family of Shorts filling in for Steph sucker!. Every Thursday on my blog I do Dear Someone letters, basically writing anything to anyone...happy, sad, funny, rude...whatever floats my boat that week! Feel free to stop by my blog sometime and join in! Here we go...

Dear Mother Nature,

Please take the estrogen that I got you for your menopause. The hot flashes are unbearable. The pills may also take care of that "dryness" problem youve been having. So please return to a normal body temperature and let some wetness come our way.

Your burning up over here friend, Amanda

Dear sleep,

Why must you be so cruel? So nonexistant? Please come back! Im going to bed at a normal time and getting up bright and early to get Rhiannon off to school, Im doing everything right! Now get yourself over here right now! Meet me in my bed at 10pm, got it?

Me so sleepy

shortmama

Dear laundry,

Quit breeding while I attempt that whole sleeping thing. Maybe its you that is keeping me up at night...hmmmm.

Washing and drying and folding and hanging...blah

Me

Dear my girlies,

Watching the two of you play freeze dance is hilarious. Rhiannon that rump shaking is a bit risqué but funny all the same. And Layla you are about 5 seconds behind on the whole freeze thing, but completely adorable. You exercise my belly with all the laughing I do...and Lord knows I could use all the belly exercise I can get.

Abs of steel...ok not even close

Mama

Dear Steph,

I hope you still had all the readers you had before you let me guest post. I tried not to scare anyone away..but well ya know I am kinda scary...all 5 feet of me.

shortmama

Thats all for this week! Normally I would include a linky for all of you to write your letters and join in but since Im not on my blog I thought that might be confusing, so if you did letters just let us know in the comments so we can visit and read yours. And if you want to participate in Dear Someone letters next week just hope on over to my blog every Thursday! Peace.

--
Amanda