School is cool

We'll not really that cool. I got my first two papers back graded. I got A's on both of them and could not be happier about that. I have, so far, been able to pick topics that are easy for me to write about and don't involve any research. The paper I have to start writing next needs to be an extended definition essay. I think I am going to write about what military wife is.



Happy Birthday to my husband, the man who stole my heart, my future babys' daddy, my whole world, the other half of my heart, my hero, and my best friend.

I love you more than anything else in this world. You are my everything!!!


Valentine's Day Weekend

I went to see Matt this weekend. I left Friday morning at 9. I got a sinus cold Thursday so most of the time I was there I was sick. Matt got me a Theraflu humidifier thingy and took excellent care of me. Since I was sick, we didn't do a whole lot. On Valentine's Day we went out to eat at Applebee's and then went out with some of his friends. Matt got me a princess cut journey necklace for Valentine's day and I love it. I tried taking a picture of it myself but it just didn't do it justice. This is a picture I found of it on the Zales website.

I think we are going to wait until Easter weekend for me to go visit again. Only 49 days until I can be with the man who stole my heart again. I love him so much and it is impossible for me to put into words how much I miss him while we are apart.


My husband is awesome

I'm leaving Friday to go to Seattle. I am coming back on Monday. I got flowers today for Valentine's Day at work from my hubby. I know he has also gotten me something from Zales. (It's hard to slide things past me now that we have a joint account) I'm so excited to go see him. I love that man with all of my heart.

Who steals BBQ sauce?

My mom bought some stuff for Matt for Valentine's day. Their was some M & M's, fruit smiles, a card, and some other stuff. I got one of those boxes from the post office that has the adhesive already on it. It wasn't full so I had my mom pick up some Doug McCain's BBQ sauce. (Matt loves that stuff) I got him a few more snacks and I had recorded some stuff off TV on VHS's for him. I packed it all up and I specifically remember putting the BBQ sauce in there.

I took it to the post office Friday on my lunch break. He got the package Monday. I didn't ask too many questions until last night. He told me that him and his buddy had porkchops for supper. I asked him if he used his Doug McCain's. He asked what the hell I was talking about. I told him that there was some in the box. He looked all over and couldn't find it. We ended up arguing about it.

Today he told me that the box had been taped up before he got it. I never put tape on it. Now, who in the hell would steal my husbands BBQ sauce? Someone took it out of there. If I didn't pack it it would be rolling around on my bed. If it was because of some kinda security issue, why wouldn't someone tell me. It makes me wonder what I bought for him and sent to Iraq got stolen too. Seriously who the hell would steal BBQ sauce.


Am I crazy or smart???

Days like today make me wonder why the hell I didn't move with my man and do the real army wife thing. I miss Matt more than their is room on the Internet to describe it. We decided a long time ago that I would stay here and continue working so that we could continue saving for our future while he finishes up his time in the army. He will be home in August or September. By then we will have enough money for a down payment on a house and all the crap we will need to furnish it.

As my grandma lays dying, I see everyone around me has someone to comfort them. Yeah I can call him whenever I want and blow his phone up with text messages, but its not the same. I feel like we have chosen money over love and it shouldn't be that way. But then again, in 50 years will it really matter that we were apart for the first year of our marriage?

I'm not worried about our marriage surviving. I know that we have a basis for our marriage that is stronger than most I'm worried about my own sanity and Matt's too. I know he is lonely and misses me too. We are both to the point that we want this army business to be over with so we can move on.

I think I need to just suck it up and keep on keeping on.


The end is near

We found out a couple weeks ago that my Grandma on my dad's side has cancer. The cancer had basically ate away a bone in her leg and in her arm. She had surgery to fix her leg. They still didn't know where the cancer had started and if it could be treated. I found out today that the cancer had started in her lungs and had progressed very rapidly. They are not going to be able to treat her cancer. They have upped her pain medication so that she can be comfortable until God decides to take her.

My grandma is one of the nicest, kindest, most patient people I have ever know. She had 10 kids, 8 of which were boys, one of which is mentally retarded. I don't know how she kept from going nuts. She never has had one bad thing to say about anyone. Why did this have to happen to someone who always put others before herself?