Deployment Survivor

My bloggy buddy Amber at Goodnight moon has this great idea to do a link up for survivors of having their spouse deployed.

Matt and I had been friends forever before we started dating. When we first started talking, I knew that he was going to be deploying within the next year. Mentally I had to make a decision if I was prepared to handle it before we even started dating. Of course I decided he was worth it. Before he deployed, I took a leave of absence from work and drove out to Seattle from IL and stayed with him for six weeks. We had a great time and did lots of fun things in those six weeks.

D-day June 2007

He left at noon on June 10th. I'll never forget those buses that took him away. After he left, I had to pull myself together to drive back to IL. When I got back I worked at my office job and also a shit job. I worked between 50-70 hours a week. I paid off all my bills. I sent Matt care packages at least every other week. According to whoever check his mail, he got the best care packages of anyone in his unit.

His R & R was in November and we got engaged. R & R was bittersweet. We had a great time together but I knew I had to say good-bye again. By this time, he had already lost one of his best friends.

After R & R, he had another 10 months of deployment left. He was deployed for a total of 14 and a half months. We missed every holiday while he was deployed, some twice.

We didn't have the best communication while he was deployed. He emailed me most days but rarely called. He would go to an outpost that didn't have phones or internet for 3-4 weeks at a time. He did this 3 or 4 times. So that's 9-16 weeks where we had zero communication. There was no Skype. If there was we didn't know about it. We did do yahoo messaging with webcams but it would always disconnect and one of us would get fed up with it.

I like to think while he was deployed I was strong. Yeah, I'd lose it sometimes. I was grouchy at my shit job but hey it was a shitty job. I didn't whine about him being gone or complain about all the things we were missing. I might have thought it but I didn't whine about it. I held my head up high and tried to remember that most people couldn't do it.

The day he came home was the best day of my life. It was better than our wedding. Words can not describe the feeling of knowing he was safe, I was back in his arms, and that we had done it.

Homecoming August 2008

I've been thinking a lot about those who will never get to experience this feeling. The family of his friend that died and wives who lost their husbands will never know how great this felt. It breaks my heart.

We got married two weeks after the deployment was over. In some ways I'm thankful that we got to go through this. It's made us closer. And he understands that I will always be there for him.

Vacation Recap and whatnot

I owe you all a vacation recap. Ya'll know I'm not much of a weekend blogger and things have been crazy for us.

Our vacation started on August 24th at 4:00 p.m. One of our friends that Matt was stationed with at Ft. Lewis started his terminal leave a few days before and drove from the Seattle area to the middle of nowhere Illinois to spend a week with us. Matt left work a little early and when I got home, our friend "B" was there. It was great to see him. Tuesday evening we went to the VFW and drank a few there.

Matt and B when they were in WA.

Wednesday Matt and B went and did boy stuff during the day and I stayed home and did homework. :( Let me backtrack a bit, school started for us this same week so we both had to keep up with our school work while trying to party like rock stars be on vacation. Wednesday evening, Matt had school so me and B took a nap on the couch. Um that sounds weird. On separate couches of course.

Thursday evening we partied like rock stars went to the local watering hole and had a few drinks. And then partied like rock stars relaxed on the deck until the wee hours of the morning.

Friday morning I didn't feel so well. We left around noon to go to Southern Missouri. We went there to visit the family of a friend of Matt and B's that died in Iraq. His name was Rickey. We went there around the end of June too and I wrote about that here.

Friday evening we went out to eat with Rickey's family and went to a very nice Chinese restaurant. The Chinese places around here are shit compared to this place. It was seriously so good and I wasn't afraid that I was eating cat. After we went out to eat we went back to their house and talked and told stories.

We stayed at Rickey's sister's house. Their family was not going to let us get a hotel and told us she had plenty of room for us. It's still hard for me to believe how nice of people they are.

Saturday we went over to his parent's house and had breakfast. His mom made chocolate gravy for breakfast. I had never had it or even heard of it. It was good but I couldn't eat that much of it. It's basically like a runny chocolate pudding that you dip a biscuit in. (So much for my diet).

After breakfast we went 4 wheeler riding with Rickey's dad and sister. It hadn't rained there in like 60 some days so it was extremely dusty but we had a great time. Matt and I rode Rickey's 4 wheeler which was nice. (His parents refuse to sell any of his toys.) Oh and we saw some cotton fields, which I thought was neat.

After the 4 wheeler ride we looked like a bunch of dirt kids and had to go take a shower. Then we went back to Rickey's parents house and they had a party and invited all their family over. They are all such great people and have the biggest hearts ever. His dad made like 70 pounds of chicken wings. They had the best coleslaw I've ever had and a spaghetti salad. I ate way too much.

We did a little drinking at the family function as did some of Rickey's cousins. Before we headed back to his sisters, his mom had some late night munchies with us and we talked and cried and laughed.

It was hard to say good-bye again Sunday morning. Rickey's parents both told us again that they were so glad that we came to visit and that it meant the world to them.

Sunday evening when we got home, we loaded up the camper and the dogs and went camping. We camped Sunday and Monday night in a small campground close to our house. The boys loved it. Matt had school Monday evening and I had school Tuesday morning.

Tuesday I did 6 loads of laundry. Wednesday we came back to work and B continued on his "roadtrip across the country".

Sorry for the lack of pictures, I suck at taking pictures.

All in all, vacation was great!

Bring on Vacation

Over the weekend Matt went with his crazy parents to a tractor pull a couple of hours away. They took our camper and stayed there Friday and Saturday night. I made sure I had to work. Unfortunately, I had to work. I could have dealt with the tractor pull. It's the in-laws that are the problem. But, that's another story for another day.

I worked at the bar Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. Saturday night was pretty busy, which is good. After work, a friend of mine, "L", my cousin, and Matt's Army buddy, "M", that lives about 20 minutes away came over and drank on the deck with me. Matt and I are trying to set up L & M up. They seemed to hit it off. Who know's though.

I stayed up too late. See, I drink red bull and vodka. There is a very fine line to drinking it so that I can sleep. 1 to 3 and I'll be fine. 8 or more and I'll sleep like a baby but wake up feeling like shit. Anything between 3 and 8 is trouble though. I had4 or 5 Saturday night. I slept from around 3 to 7 and then woke up and saw that my cousin was still asleep in our porch swing. And then tossed and turned until 11 when I had to get up and get ready for work.

So, I was exhausted all day yesterday. Matt got home around noon and came up to the bar to see me. After work, we laid around on the couch until it was time for bed.

I work at the VFW. It's a pretty mellow place but sometimes there is a little drama. Mostly, I try to stay out of it. There are these two regulars that come in there, a guy and a girl. They aren't "together" but I think they know each other pretty well, if you know what I mean. Anyway, they aren't speaking. I like both of them. It was the lady's birthday Monday. I talked to her Saturday and she told me they weren't speaking because he was being a grouchass Monday night at the bar.

He came in yesterday and told me that he was upset because some other asshat came in that he was deployed with and started telling graphic war stories. He didn't want to hear it. Now, I can totally understand why he wouldn't want to talk about it and why he got upset. He asked me to talk to her and try to get her to talk to him. So I did. She said he was upset before the asshat ever showed up. I tried to explain to her that maybe the asshat showing up was "the straw that broke the camels back."

I'm glad this guy felt as if he could tell me what was wrong. The members that come into the bar know that I know what being a veteran is all about, no matter if they are 21 or 85.

This will probably be the last you hear from me until after my vacation. Be nice to my guest bloggers. ;) Hope you all have a great week!

New Friends

Last week, I told you that Matt and I were going south to the hometown of a fallen hero and friend from his unit. His friend, Dave, from Philly got to our house Wednesday afternoon. We grilled out Wednesday night and caught up with him.

Thursday morning, we left and headed south. (And by south, I mean "the south".) We got there around 1 ish. We went to the cemetery and found Rickey's grave. It was really nice, for a grave. He had a black lab for years and even had the dog's picture tattooed on him. There was a black lab statue on his grave, a big lighted American flag, and a picture of him hunting with his dog.

We decided to find a local watering hole and have a drink. We found one. It was the biggest dump I've ever been too. And I'm not even stretching the truth. But that's a whole other story. There was a picture of Rickey in the bar.

Matt had been to his house before and after a bit of searching we found his house. Matt and Dave went up to the door and his dad came to the door. Looked just like him, except older. His dad invited us in and we sat around and talked for awhile.

When his mom got home, they called up Rickey's brother, sister, and a couple aunts and told them to meet us at the local restaurant. Before we went to eat, his dad showed us all of Rickey's toys and his own toys. They haven't sold any of Rickey's toys. His mom and dad drove us around town and showed us all the places Rickey hung out and the veteran's memorial in town, where there is a bench with his name on it.

After our tour of the little town, we went to eat with them. Everyone ordered a pepper steak sandwich so we all did too. Let me just say, I'm not cut out for life in the south. This was the biggest sandwich I've ever seen. His sister said just to dig right in. His parents refused to let us pay for ours, let alone theirs.

When we were leaving they told us how much they appreciated us coming and that no one else from the Army had ever been to see them. His mom said that her birthday was Saturday and that we were the best thing she could have asked for. We thanked them for there hospitality. It was true southern hospitality. I never really knew what that meant before. But I do now.

Friday, when we got home we ordered some flowers to be sent to his mom for her birthday. She has since emailed us and thanked us for the flowers and again for coming and told us how much it meant to her. They want us to come back down and stay for at least a weekend.

We plan on going back again sometime before the summer is over. I couldn't imagine meeting any nicer people than Rickey's family and I don't believe that we will ever lose touch with them.

The hubs and my hair

Matt and I are going out tonight. I'm taking my husband out to eat at a new restaurant that he's been wanting to go to. I told him that I would cook whatever he wanted or take him wherever he wanted to go for Veteran's Day.

I just want to show and remind him how much he means to me. It may seem cheesy, but he really is my hero. And so is anyone else who has ever served.

In other news.................

I got my hair cut yesterday. I've been wanting to cut it since before our wedding, which was over a year ago. Don't get me wrong, I loved having long hair but I hated it falling everywhere, clogging up the drain, and ending up in my food.

I had been growing out my hair since around 2002. It was to a point were it wasn't getting any longer or healthier.

I got around 8 inches cut off. I wanted to donate it but it wasn't long enough and their were too many layers.

Matt loves it. I'm still getting used to the new do but I think I like it.

Before....

After....

(Notice how happy I am to be at work today.)

25 Reasons why I love my husband more than anything

He is my hero.
He loves me for me.
He thinks I’m beautiful.
He tells me how proud of me he is.
He knows about stuff that I have no idea about.
He makes me happy just be being there.
He works hard for us.
He is goofy and I think it’s cute.
He tells me when I do a good job.
He knows more about me than ANYONE.
He makes me a better person
He thinks I’m sexy even though I’ve gained probably 20 pounds since we been together.
He tells me I’m his everything.
He has sent me tons of flowers just because.
He is everything to me.
He does not get jealous.
He appreciates me.
He is strong – mentally, physically, and emotionally.
He is mine… all mine.
He loves Ozzy and Ozzy loves him.
He wants to be with me forever.
He misses me.
He wants me to have his babies.
He makes me laugh and smile.
We are the best thing we’ve ever had.