Am I crazy or smart???

Days like today make me wonder why the hell I didn't move with my man and do the real army wife thing. I miss Matt more than their is room on the Internet to describe it. We decided a long time ago that I would stay here and continue working so that we could continue saving for our future while he finishes up his time in the army. He will be home in August or September. By then we will have enough money for a down payment on a house and all the crap we will need to furnish it.

As my grandma lays dying, I see everyone around me has someone to comfort them. Yeah I can call him whenever I want and blow his phone up with text messages, but its not the same. I feel like we have chosen money over love and it shouldn't be that way. But then again, in 50 years will it really matter that we were apart for the first year of our marriage?

I'm not worried about our marriage surviving. I know that we have a basis for our marriage that is stronger than most I'm worried about my own sanity and Matt's too. I know he is lonely and misses me too. We are both to the point that we want this army business to be over with so we can move on.

I think I need to just suck it up and keep on keeping on.

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