First and foremost, thank you all for you well wishes, prayers, thoughts, and good vibes. I appreciate each and everyone of you.
Things seem to be a little easier everyday. Some days, I back peddle and it will be worse than the day before. Ultimately, I think I'm getting better.
The doctor gave me a handful of Xanax. That helps. As far as the doctor goes, he thinks I'm fine and that nothing else will have to be done.
I ask myself "Why?" a lot.
Why couldn't I have this baby but I am expected to financially support others who don't need or deserve a kid?
Why did I have to see a 16ish year old pregnant girl in the doctor's office the other day?
Why does my body suck a fat one?
Why does the world keep moving for everyone else, while it seems to be standing still for me?
We went camping over the weekend. I thought it would make everything better but it didn't. It helped though.
I actually made dinner Monday night and last night. I hadn't done that in awhile. Matt's been cooking. I even did some laundry.
In the midst of everything that happened last week, I had to finish my summer class. I pretty much said F it. I didn't study for the final and half-assed the last homework assignment. I still got an A in the class.
I also had designed, proofed, and order some t-shirts for the VFW to sell and try to make a little money. I had to deal with that last week.
I'm sure there were other things I "had" to do last week. But I don't remember.
I promise my next post will be a happier one.
Matt and I are taking some time off next week. Not sure what we'll do or if we'll do much but at least I'll be at home. With the pups.
Would anyone like to do a guest blog for me next week? A happy one. Or a funny one. Please.
8 comments:
*hug* Im glad the camping trip did help at least a little.
I'm glad you're getting better, friend. It will take a long time and I'm sure it will always be a part of you.
I'm gonna be gone next week too. I'll see if I have anything in my drafts you can use.
You poor thing. It hurts. I know. It will get better. I promise. I ask those same questions right now because my ovaries hate me.
If you need someone to post, I'll send over a funny post that I did a few months back. I'm not feeling too creative lately. The sun is frying my brain. But I would love to help you out!
Thinking about you today.
Thinking of you and sending lots of virtual hugs.
honey, I am so sorry for your loss! Praying you are able to spend quality time with your man that will truly help yall heal!
I'm glad you're feeling a little better. That's better than nothing. Hang in there friend!
I just found your blog today.... I understand the envy/anger toward others that are able to keep a pregnancy. I went through this with my love at his MOB Platform in 2009, and was about to start my new(now) job, It sucked. him not here, me having limited friends, having to push it down and go to work. Lord it was hard. It does get harder... we've been trying since he got home last year (sigh) I've had others around me get pregnant and, well, that sucks for me too (great for them). I wish you both the best of luck, and what we are learning is to not let it consume you. I had let the trying consume me, and it became a terrible chore that we didn't' want to "do" for a while. Good Luck sweetie!
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