Facebook Funnies

It's once again time for "Facebook Funnies." Post all the weird, unusual, creepy, or funny statuses that make you go hmmmm! and then link back to here. Just don't use anyone's name, address, school, ect.

Feel free to grab the button.

Here we go...

Either I have the flu or I have accidentally poisoned myself. It's really a toss up......

How could you accidentally poison yourself?

WARNING!!! As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you're in the shower, fondle you butt, and pinch in you uncomfortable places. To change this option, go to Privacy Settings>Personal Settings>BathroomSettings>Fondling & Pinching Settings, and uncheck the Shenanigans box. Facebook kept this one quite. Copy & Paste on your status to alert the unaware.

I better check that one out.

URGENT WARNING!!! Facebook now automatically scans your brain through your monitor. To block, go to kitchen, get aluminum foil, and wrap it around your head. Stay calm and breathe through your left nostril ONLY. This is a SERIOUS problem and has been confirmed by a cousin's girlfriend's neightbor's son's baby's mama and her pet chihuahua.

Oh no!

My car horn is too embarrassing. If you are ever out for a walk and you think a cartoon roadrunner is trying to get your attention, that's just me. Mmmeee Mmeep!

Awww... how cute!

Would it be rude if I offered the gross man sitting next to me on the [train] a piece of gum? Seriously gonna vomit.

Don't you hate it when that happens.

Woke up a bit late this morning... but made it to class on time.... i definately didnt here my alarms....

Good thing you made it because it appears you could use all the class time you could get.

[The school I go to] College will be open tomorrow. If anything changes, we will share the information through our traditional channels. We're glad everyone is sharing their thoughts, but we ask that you avoid using profanity. Thanks!

I loved going to my college's facebook when the weather was bad. It was full of post from people complaining about how school should be closed. I'm pretty sure they don't know base their decision to close the school on what is posted on their facebook wall. It also reconfirms that 95% of the people that go to school there are idiots.

HELL YEAH! Just beat my own record for consecutive days alive!

I think everyone does this everyday.

I don't know what's more annoying people who don't make since on here. Or people who can't spell. Ok ok its just me irritated [name]. that's me! But seriously check your post before you post it. Don't sound like a retard and people might respond.

Since... I believe it's sense. And you have a sentence fragment thrown in there.

I wish peep would stop talkin [crap] 2 my soon 2 b x hubby. Our biz is our biz! Stay the [heck] out of it! We have kids 2gather. You wanna ruin my kids life 2! F^*&$ off! I'm done with this [crap]!

And then the next day....

Well that talk went [crappy]! Why even try? I don't give a [crap]!

Why do you put your business on Facebook if you don't want people getting involved?

thinks that sometimes all it takes is being snowed in at work for a couple days to appreciate a good day off.... and whiskey.

Getting snowed in at work? That sounds horrible. That might make me turn to whiskey too.

Feel free to link up and share.

Happy Thursday!


Anonymous said...

Ahahah :)

Frugalista said...

Very funny! Facebook is always a great source of comic relief.

MrsB said...

haha! i had a car with a MeeeepMeeeep horn too. i hated honking - i felt so foolish. like 'hey jerk, you cut me off. meeeeeeeeeeep.'

MiMi said...

LOL! I love when people rant about grammar and spelling and get it wrong!

McDancer said...

Love them! Especially all the ones making fun of the viral copy and paste posts :)

Brandy@YDK said...

HA! it looks like you have a great group of FB friends to keep you entertained but supah boring.

Anonymous said...

I love the one about beating the record for consecutive days alive! I'm going to have to remember that one! =)

Los said...

I get annoyed at bad Facebook spellers too.

Dawn said...

ROFL!!! I may have to borrow a couple of these for my FB status. Hilarious.

I love your comments after each one. LOL!!!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I will never understand why people air their dirty laundry all over facebook!

Anonymous said...

I got snowed in at work once. The boss came in at 2am and found me and another employee watching movies in the conference room. If only we had whiskey . . .