Cheating is bad

Here is what I came up with for why people cheat:

“The Storm” is a short story by Kate Chopin that is about an affair that takes place during a violent storm in the early 1900’s. This story raises the question, “Why do people in seemingly healthy relationships choose to be unfaithful?” The most widespread reason for cheating in a relationship is because there are problems in the relationship. People may also decide to be unfaithful because they are seeking revenge on their partners. Sometime people cheat simply because of their self-desire or because they have opportunities to be unfaithful. Infidelity can also stem from an unhealthy childhood and lack of being taught morals and how to treat people.

One common problem in a relationship that could lead to a person cheating is loneliness. This problem could come from having a spouse who works too much, travels for his or her job, or just does not spend a lot of time with his or her partner. When two people in a relationship are spending long periods of time away from each other, most likely one of them will become lonely. When my husband was deployed to Iraq for fifteen months, most of his male friends’ relationships ended within two months of their departure due to their girlfriends cheating on them. Most relationships will not survive these conditions and both people involved must be sure of themselves, their partners, and their relationships.

Another reason people give for engaging in infidelity is that they are not receiving enough attention from their spouses or are only receiving a negative type of attention. People may chose to cheat because they believe they can find someone who will treat them better and give them more attention than their spouse. For instance, a wife that is expected to cook, clean, take care of the children, and work could feel unappreciated and believe that she deserves to be with someone who does not expect her to do so much. She may meet someone who says all the right things, buys her gifts, and makes her feel special and then choose to cheat on her husband.

In some relationships, the passion in the relationship may gradually fade. Either partner may lose the attraction he or she once had for the other for a number of reasons. Some women and men may simply stop taking as much care of their appearances after they are married. A woman could decide that shaving her legs regularly is not as important after she is married as it was before. Also, having children takes a toll on a woman’s body and some men will lose the attraction they once had for their wives after childbirth. Passion could also fade in a relationship because the couple grows apart after time. Some couples after being together for ten or twenty years, will stay together only because it is easier to do so. Intimacy can become repetitious and boring after years together and the decrease in passion could cause a person to cheat in a relationship.

Sometimes when people are unfaithful to their spouses, it is because they are seeking revenge for something the other person did. A person could be unfaithful because they are continually accused of doing so. If a man is constantly accused of cheating he may believe that he may as well cheat and seek revenge for the accusations. Also, if a wife cheats on her husband, the husband could decide to cheat on her. I believe this is totally asinine and instead of seeking revenge the person should just give up with the relationship and move on. Two wrongs never make a situation right.

In a perfectly healthy relationship, a person may not always be totally satisfied. Being in a monogamous relationship simply cannot satisfy some men and women. They need to have multiple partners for their own self-desire and to boost their ego. Opportunity to cheat may arise and even though a person has no issues in his or her relationship he or she will cheat because the chance is present.

Another factor in why people cheat in relationships could be from a lack of morals or being around cheating during childhood. If a woman’s mother cheated on her husband when the daughter was young and the daughter was exposed to it, it is likely that the daughter would cheat on her partner as well. With so many people getting divorced multiple times, it makes teaching children to be faithful to one person for the duration of their life nearly impossible. Children learn from examples and it is almost more common for a child’s parents to be divorced or never have been married rather than being married forever.

I am fortunate enough to have parents that have been married my whole life and I’m sure this contributes to my views on this topic. Regardless of the reason a person may give for being unfaithful, I believe it is wrong and should be avoided, especially in marriage. A person that promises to his or her partner and to God to stay faithful to each other should do so. If the relationship becomes unhealthy, lacks passion, or the partner does something wrong, then person should end the relationship. Hurting someone’s feelings only for a person’s own pleasure is not only selfish, but is also wrong.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very nice post. You have understood the relationship problems when cheating very well. It is also a problem whensome cheats on you before marriage to end the relationship keeping you in the darker side. As you said that rather than cheating its better to end the relationship forever.