Facebook Funnies

Today is the first edition of "Facebook Funnies". Link up with a post of all the funny, unusual, stupid statuses that you find on facebook. The only thing I ask is don't use anyone's actual name, location, school, ect.

Feel free to grab the button.

Big thanks to Jess at Just a Geek Named Jess for making this button for me! I absolutely love it and I appreciate it! Please check out her blog too.

Here we go:

- finds that when he is covered in urine, it is seldom his own

The odd thing about this one is that the guy that posted it has no kids.

- I am amazed by the trash on facebook. Seriously folks this isnt MySpace.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

- deer camp. cold beer and dead deer

This is is from my husband. Please no dead deer, please no dead deer, please no dead deer.

- Kids in the back seat cause accidents, but accidents in the back seat cause kids

Yes, sometimes they do.

- has learned two things from his bewildering trial of ordeals over the past 3 days. One, that when it rains it pours. Two, that the only way to truly get what you want is through cruel and relentless deception.

Oddly enough, I don't totally disagree with the cruel and relentless deception part of this.

- I wish there was a new standard option on cars that allowed you to aim, point, text the car in front of you and tell them to get the F out of the way Grandpa!

I'd definitely buy a phone that did that.

- If a canoe tips over in your front yard and all four wheels fall off. How long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a pickle?


- I gotta a call from a charity asking me to donate my clothes to starving people. I said, "If my clothes fit those people then they are NOT starving!"

Hahaha... I feel you on that one.

- what the @#$%... [dog] has cotton thread coming out of her bum. She must have eaten it when I was sewing last week. Tried pulling it out but it was obviously uncomfortable so cut off as much as I could and going to wait for nature... About a metre length so far!

The funny part of this one is that I have had to do the same thing.

- Today, I'm thankful for prophylactics & artificial insemination.

Yes, I guess those are good things to be thankful for.

- Who can cut designs in a faded haircut? Obviously noone around here is up to date enough lol

Who the hell would want a "design" cut into their hair?

- went to walmart tonight & at the courtsey counter there was an older lady there saying they charged her to much on tax & walmart owed her .07 cents..what?

It's Wal-Mart. What do you expect?

Now it's your turn. Link up and come back to see what everyone else posts. The more people that link up, the funner this will be.


MiMi said...

Hahahaha!!! I love the pee one! No kids...? LOL
Sorry I don't have anything to link up today. :( That's an adorable button!

Los said...

Many, many good phrases to live by ...

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

I am dying!!!! I am going to have to start saving these up!

Heff said...

I deplore the Facebook.

shortmama said...

The kids and accidents one is hilarious! They all are!