Facebook Funnies

It's once again time for "Facebook Funnies." Post all the weird, unusual, creepy, or funny statuses that make you go hmmmm! and then link back to here. Just don't use anyone's name, address, school, ect.

Feel free to grab the button.

Here we go...

- In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS"

Haha... I might try that sometime.

- gotta love it when u order food and have the delivery guy get u a pack of smokes on the way

I hope he at least gave him a good tip.

- saw a van that was covered in dirt & someone had written "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van". I wrote "she is.... when you are at work!"

I hope the person whose van this is didn't take it seriously.

- Back to schoo Back to schoo to prove to my wife im no foo

Written by my hubby. No shug, I don't think you are a foo.

- Damn "Storage Wars" because of you I am exhausted this morning! A&E your programming is like crack!

I don't know what crack is like, but I have to agree that A&E shows are very addicting.

- is making a new year's resolution to give one lucky homeless person a home... in my belly.

That's strange

- Believes he was just profiled and that's wrong... i feel violated... at least he had gentle hands

Yes, at least he had gentle hands

- once combined leftover Indian food w/eggs for breakfast. He built a car using only twigs, bottle caps, bull sperm and a coat hanger... all before noon.

How about that very being innovative.

- So I found out today that the "box cutter" I've been using for the last 4 years at work is actually a tool used for pig castration. I'm a little disturbed by that.

This one is from me and is a true story. I swear.

**Edit... I was asked to elaborate on the pig castration tool. ***

I started my job a little over 4 years ago. When I "moved in" there was, what I thought, a box cutter/letter open type of instrument in my desk drawer. I use it from time to time to open boxes and stuff.

Today my boss was trying to open a box and I told him that I had an opener. I busted out my "box opener."

He said, "You know what that thing is?"

I said, "yeah a box opener."

He said, "It's actually a tool we used to sell for pig castration."

I was all, "Nu uh? Are you serious?" He's not one to make stuff up just to get me going.

So I believe him when he said, "Yeah. It's probably 20 years old. The blades probably really dull"

I asked another lady that's worked here forever and she said it was the truth too.

The business I work for sells lawn & garden, pet, and agriculture supplies so, it's really not that far fetched. But I don't think I'll look at my "box opener" the same ever again.

**End Edit**

Please link up if you'd like to share.

Happy Thursday!


Los said...

I put the following on Facebook the other day, right before a snowstorm:

"Just got back from the supermarket and have two questions ... A - where is the giant french toast party, and 2 - why wasn't I invited?

shortmama said...

Thats quite a circle of friends, acquaintances and family you have there!

And you need to tell the box cutter story!

MiMi said...

Yep, box cutter story please.
Also, I have a DVR full of A&E shows. LOL

annoyed army wife said...

That box cutter story is pretty funny and slightly disturbing.

Anonymous said...

A girl this week saw a woman buying K-Y at the airport while she was waiting for a plane. That's about as interesting as my FB friends get. LOL!

McDancer said...

Haha, your facebook funnies were in fine form this week!
You have quite the interesting array of facebook friends :)

Mamarazzi said...


Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Haha! These crack me up! I love the one with the dirty van!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Man I think I need better friends no one has cool comments like this!

Ok I'm dying on the box cutter!

Chas said...

I love your facebook funnies.
The box cutter story made me cringe! EEK!