Too funny not to share

I was going through my old email inbox the other day and found something that is just too funny not to share. I hope no one gets uptight or bent out of shape about it.

This email is from when Matt was in Iraq. I've gotten his permission to post this. First his mom sends him an email and asks him some questions.

Here those are:

Matthew, several people have asked about you. *** said she would show me how to forward to all the relatives if you sent a general letter of information about yourself.
do you live in a tent or barracks?
how many people live with you?
do you go to a separate place to eat?
can you watch TV, movies, exercise.........
what is the weather like? land, hills, trees, etc...
do you see any local people, families with kids?
what is your job?

Here is his response (complete with spelling and grammatical errors):

no no i work 12 hour days from noon to midnight so its the hottest part of the day really SUCKS!!! i live with one other guy in a thing called a cheu dont ask what that stands for probly "dog house" or " shit box" in iraqy but they have AC so i cant bitch too much. since we work during chow hours we have to go plates brought to us its not always the cleanest meal but it all makes a turd!! i bought a small tv for $10 fron the unit that we replaced so i just watch DVD's it helps put you to sleep. when we were on the 8 hour days i would go to the gym for 2 hours before work but hell sleep sounds a lot better for now. i mean i have 13 months left no need to get all in shape at one time. i think guys that work for us are from some were in iraq but no clue. hell no there are no kids here i hope these F@#$! dont reproduce. they look retarded and smell funny. but they have super cheep movies that come out before they do in the states and smoke for $2 a pack so thats the only good that comes from them. Oh and they clean our shitters. now thats a shitty job.. well hey i have to get back to the FARP that stands for fuel ammo reissueing points. we refuel and reload the hellacopters with 8 rockets and 1 or 2 hellfires. in laymens terms thats a lot of boom boom. just one hellfire cost $70,000. just the camara on top of the bird cost a mill. i think they said it was more than the hellacopter. but hey i need to get to bed so i can wilt away in this place we call the devils asshole. that would be hoter and stinker than hell so good night or good morning what ever time it is there. anymore i dont even know what day it is but hey that could be a good thing i guess. but i should be home for 18 days the end of march and part of april. so i can be with the one i miss the most. later

Spc. *****

Cracks me up every time I read it. Not because of the situation but because of the way he answers the questions. Again, if you are offended, I apologize. Just wanted to share.

** Feel free to email me with any questions or concerns at imwatchingairplanes@yahoo.com