I have a draft of the nursery saved. It just doesn't seem like the right time to post it.
Over the weekend, a new blog friend of mine lost her baby. She was 20 weeks pregnant. I'm not going to link her and I'm not going to pretend as if I know what happened. All I know is that my heart hurts for her.
When I lost our little Sprout, I thought that was it. I thought we'd never have kids and that the world was crashing down around me. I was 6 or 7 weeks pregnant. And it hurt bad. I can't imagine being 20 weeks pregnant and having all your hopes and dreams taken away.
During my pregnancy I've made a conscious effort not to be an asshole. I try not to bitch about being pregnant. (The last month has been a little rough.) I have never made comments about our life being over when the baby gets here. I've really tried to be sympathetic to those who have struggled and are struggling to have children. For me, not being an asshole doesn't come easy. But, nonetheless, I have tried my best.
At times during my pregnancy, I have even felt guilty about being pregnant. It's hard to explain. Even though Matt and I tried for over 2 years to get pregnant, I have felt guilty for my happiness when bad things happen to good people everyday.
So, something like her loss, it hits home. The only good that comes out of it is now she will have her own special little angel.
XOXO - Thinking of you